[Help] Latitude E5570 and installing any MacOS version!

Hardware:

• CPU: Intel Core i5-6300U
• GPU: Intel Skylake HD Graphics 530
• RAM: 2x8GiB Crucial/Micron 2133MHz DDR4
• Motherboard/Laptop model: Dell Latitude E5570
• Audio Codec: ALC293
• Ethernet Card: (Disabled Intel I219-LM(reported by GNU/Linux since devtree didn't report it))
• Wifi/BT Card: Intel Wireless 8260 (works in my ma's Hackintosh, though different Latitude model)
• What guide/tool followed: https://osxlatitude.com/forums/topic/17051-dell-latitude-e5570-hackintosh-efi/ https://github.com/quynkk1/e-series-skylake-hackintosh-dell https://dortania.github.io/OpenCore-Install-Guide/prerequisites.html#prerequisites https://github.com/manhhungdoan/Dell-E5570-Hackintosh https://dortania.github.io/OpenCore-Install-Guide/troubleshooting/extended/kernel-issues.html#stuck-on-eb-log-exitbs-start (plus many searches here on Reddit involving E5570 and Skylake)
• What part I got an issue with: Cannot boot the installer. No matter what I've tried, it either hangs on the apple logo for about 3 minutes before locking up completely, or it acts like it's booting (even shows the progress bar), gets about 1/3 of the way through, then rolls the progress bar back and shows a 🚫 before rebooting. When in verbose mode, it always seems to hang on [EB|#LOG:EXITBS:START] but the guide for that (last link above) hasn't gotten me beyond that point yet.
• What files/config I am using: Unmodified and modified configs from the sites above; tried many, many "MacBookPro##,#" SMBIOS types; and my own config.plist edits.
• Extra Info: I also tried swapping NVMe (WD Black SN770 512GB) and SATA (Micron 1100 512GB) M.2 drives around. I've tried booting from USB 2.0 SanDisk Cruzer Glide 32GB, Lexar(Micron) USB 3.1 128GB, USB3 <-> SAS/Intel 240GB SATA SSD adapter, and the PCI-e Card Reader with various 2-32GB SDCards.

It's driving me bonkers! Been at this for over a week now, and am no further than where I started. Everything I read on the Internet so far says this is doable, but so far nothing seems to get me to the installer. Funny thing is my first Hackintosh installs went smooth as butter on my step-mom's Latitude (different model) and on a desktop of a friends' (we built it out-of-spec intentionally and it still worked - a Core2 Quad Q9400 and GeForce GTX-750 Ti).